Stardew Valley Shane

Forest · 8:00pm to 12:00am

• Shane: Up late, huh?
• Shane: Here, have a cold one.
• Shane: Buh... Life.
• Shane: You ever feel like... no matter what you do, you're gonna fail? ...Like you're stuck in some miserable abyss and you're so deep you can't even see the light of day?
• Shane: I just feel like no matter how hard I try... I'm not strong enough to climb out of that hole.
• Shane: Heh... fast drinker, huh? Man after my own heart. Heh... fast drinker, huh? Woman after my own heart. Just don't make it a habit... you got a future ahead of you still.
• Shane: Welp.. My liver's beggin' me to stop. Better call it a night. See you around, Farmer.

Animal Shop

• Marnie: Shane?
• Marnie: Farmer... Can you do something? He's out cold.
• Shane: buhhh...
• Marnie: Shane! What's the matter with you? All you do anymore is mope around your room and drink beer!
• Shane: You wouldn't understand...
• Marnie: What's your plan? Don't you ever think about the future?
• Shane: Hopefully I won't be around long enough to need a 'plan'...

Forest · 9:00am to 8:00pm · Rainy days

• Shane: ... Farmer...
• Shane: I... I'm sorry...*hic* ... M... My life... It's a pathetic joke... Look at me... ... Why do I even try? ...*sob* I'm too small and stupid to... to take control of my life... I'm just a p... piece of soiled garbage flittering in the wind... *bluurp* ......... I've been coming here often lately... looking down... Here's a chance to finally take control of my life... These cliffs... ... B... bu... *blaap*... but I'm too scared, too anxious. Just like always...
• Shane: Farmer... All I do is work, sleep, and drink ...t... to dull the feelings of self-hatred. Why should I even go on? Tell me... T... Tell me why I shouldn't roll off this cliff right now...
• Shane: Farmer...
• Shane: ...I think you should take me to the hospital now.
• Harvey: ...I've pumped his stomach and re-hydrated his body. He's going to be okay. It's good that you brought him in, though.
• Harvey: Too much alcohol is terrible for the body... but right now I'm most worried about his mental health... When he comes to, I'll have a chat with him about his treatment options. I know an excellent counselor in Zuzu City...
• Harvey: Life can be painful, sometimes... But there's always hope for a better future. You've got to believe in that.

Animal Shop

• Marnie: Hi Shane... you look unusually happy today.
• Shane: You're right... I haven't felt this light since I was a kid.
• Marnie: Let me guess... Gus had a clearance sale on canned beer?
• Shane: No, actually. I've been drinking sparkling water instead of beer... and I feel great!
• Shane: You know, I sometimes forget that I really do have friends, people that care about me. And it's okay for me to rely on them... it doesn't make me weak.
• Shane: Hi Jas. I've got something for you.
• Jas: Th... These are real bunny-jewel slippers!!
• Jas: B... But these are so expensive! How did you afford them?
• Shane: I've cut back on an expensive habit. I have a lot more spending money now!

Town · 10:00am to 4:00pm · Sunny days

Every one of these has to be met at once: Clint at 2 hearts, Emily at 2 hearts.

• Shane: Okay guys, do you remember your lines?
• Emily: Yes!
• Shane: Ready? Action!
• Emily: I thought we had something special... I guess I was wrong.
• Clint: I... I... Uh...
• Shane: Cut!
• Clint: I'm sorry!
• Clint: It's hard to remember my lines when her face is right in front of me like that...
• Shane: Oh, hey.
• Shane: Check out my new camera... Joja Co. is having a video advertisement competition. The prize is 10,000g.
• Shane: Hey! I want you to be in this shot... okay? Just walk by Clint and Emily in the background while they're talking... It'll give the scene a little more authenticity.
• Shane: Okay... Ready? Action!
• Emily: I thought we had something special... You said you wouldn't leave me for anything. I guess that was a lie.
• Clint: No! It's not like that... This is just something I have to do. It's very important to me.
• Clint: I've just got to try new 'Joja Bluu' cola. It's got three times the sorbitol for a thick, sweet blast. And it's cheaper than water!
• Emily: But... But... Isn't soda unhealthy? You promised me...
• Clint: Have no fear, my dear. The world-class science team at Joja Headquarters have determined that 'Joja Bluu' does not cause a significant erosion of the stomach lining. So you can drink it whenever you like, as much as you like. The real question is... 'When will YOU turn bluu?'... *glug* *glug*... Ahh...
• Shane: Cut!
• Shane: That was perfect.
• Shane: Thanks for the help.
• Emily: ...Clint?

Animal Shop

• Jas: Uncle Shane's in the barn. He said... Uh... He said to tell you he wants to show you something.
• Shane: That should do it...
• Shane: It's the perfect home for you hens... We'll have the best eggs in the whole valley! Fresh and healthy, with rich golden yolks. Not like those pale, sickly Joja eggs...
• Shane: ...*sigh*... ...You know, Charlie... I was thinking... A guy like me is always teetering on the edge of despair... know what I mean? ...But you and the other hens are going to keep me upright from now on... I know it. ... What's wrong... too much pressure? *chuckle*
• Shane: Hey, Farmer... so, what do you think?
• Shane: My special blue hens... I've been raising them in secret for the last few months.
• Shane: I... Well, I won't be living here forever, and I wanted to pass something on to Jas. I've been teaching her how to care for them. ...I want to feel like I'm not just a leech on the world. I want to contribute somehow, even in a small way like this.

Farm · 6:00am to 6:30am

• Shane: Hey, Farmer!
• Shane: Uh... So I got two tickets to the Tunnelers game tonight.
• Shane: If you want to come, meet me at the bus stop around 5pm.

Saloon

Every one of these has to be met at once: Sebastian at 10 hearts, Sam at 10 hearts, Harvey at 10 hearts, Alex at 10 hearts, Elliott at 10 hearts.

• Harvey: You showed up just in time for the first ever Pelican Town 8-ball tournament!
• Elliott: Don't worry, I've never played before, either.
• Shane: It's easy, you just gotta put some mustard on the cue ball...
• For some reason, you decide to place your hand in your pocket...
• You touch the rabbit's foot, and feel a sense of relief...
• You played a round of pool with the boys.
• Sebastian won, of course... but it was still a lot of fun!

Saloon

Every one of these has to be met at once: Sebastian at 10 hearts, Sam at 10 hearts, Harvey at 10 hearts, Alex at 10 hearts, Elliott at 10 hearts.

• Sam: Never thought you'd find all your 'boyfriends' in one room, huh Farmer?
• Harvey: You tricked all of us into thinking we loved you... Farmer... I thought you wanted to get married and start a family with me... What did I do wrong?
• Shane: The last shred of hope I had left is completely destroyed... Thanks, Farmer. Are you happy now?
• Alex: Farmer? I thought... I thought we were 'one of a kind'... But you were just using me? What are you looking at *me* for? You think I'm gonna come to your rescue?
• Elliott: For once, I'm at a loss for words...
• Sam: Well, we're not going to put up with your abuse any longer! We all know the truth, now! And we're not going to tolerate this!
• Sebastian: Well? What do you have to say for yourself?
• Shane: Nice try, but that's not going to cut it...
• Sam: ...so we've come to a decision... isn't that right, fellas?
• Harvey: ...yes.
• Elliott: Absolutely.
• Sam: We're all giving you the cold shoulder!

Town · 8:00am to 5:00pm · Mon, Tue, Wed, Thu, Sat, Sun

• Shane: Phew... that was fun. Haven't had a session like that in a while... *urp*
• Shane: Welp... I'm all sweaty. Better head back home.
• Marnie: Oh no... this doesn't look good.
• Marnie: Farmer? You'd better keep your eye on him... next time you catch him coming out of the Saloon, you should say something...